Ask the office

My Girlfriend is Shy in the Bedroom, How do I Introduce Toys?

Question: I love my girlfriend but she is very shy & old fashioned about sex.  She thinks sex should just be man on top & over quickly.  How can I change her ways & introduce toys into our relationship? 

Office Girls Opinion

You need to be sympathetic to your girlfriend’s views & concerns in this area.  There maybe all sorts of issues preventing her from feeling relaxed with her body & sexual issues.  You must take it easy & take very small steps to get her used to the idea of toys & different positions. 

I hope the reason she is worried about toys is not because you bought her a totally unreasonable toy to start with.  For example if you introduced a huge dildo or but plug to someone who had not used one before they would be worried. 

Start with something safe like flavored & scented lubricants & just pleasure her with your hands.  When she is more relaxed then try introducing a small bullet type vibrator for clitoral stimulation only.  Over time the more caring you are you will find your sex life improves for both of you.  Just remember to talk to her in a relaxed way & take it slowly.

Office Boys Opinion: What a load of tosh!  She has probably been brainwashed by an over sensitive mother who was bought up to believe sex was dirty.  Put up or shut up or get out more to the point we think.  Women like real men who know what they want & go for it.  Forget all this feminine side rubbish; all surveys suggest a woman wants a bit of rough. 

Tell her you’re going to have a great weekend of sex next week & ask if she wants to join you.  That should be plain simple & to the point.  The problem you have is that if you don’t move on together statistics prove she is going to rebound with a total asshole next time.  Better you be that asshole this time!

My Husband finishes almost as soon as he gets started!

I am a married woman who is longing to have an orgasm with my husband but he climaxes within minutes of getting on top of me. If he was bigger he might be more capable of satisfying me. Am I selfish for wanting more from him as he performs to the same standard he always did?

The boy’s opinion

Yes you are being a little selfish & you should look at it from his point of view. He has a busy life & needs to conserve his energy. If he is doing what he always did you accepted this when you married him. It is not size that’s important! Try to fake it so he can roll over & go to sleep contented so he can feel refreshed in the morning ready for his next hard day at the office.

The girl’s opinion

A woman has the right to feel loved & to have her man spend time on pleasing her. If your man is going to start the job he should finish it & not just for himself. As for size not being important that is just excuses aimed at making men feel better. If it’s what you do with it, he is failing you there as well.

You need to find the right way to tell him what you need & what he is not doing for you. A good roll play game that could help you do this is to tie him up. We have some good restraints in our “Fetish” range for this. Have him watch you play with yourself to climax so he can see exactly what your orgasms are like. Do not allow him to pleasure himself. Instead you do it for him as a treat for learning when you’re ready.

Try to get him to wear extra thick condoms occasionally that will reduce his sensitivity & make him last longer. Introduce a clitoral stimulator into your love making. This will speed up your orgasms if he can’t delay himself.

Ultimately a lifetime is a long one and you should be entitled to your pleasures. If he wont give you what you want you should invest some time in a “F*** Buddy”!

My girl likes sex but won’t give me a blow job!

Hi, I have a great looking bird that I have been seeing for a while now. We have good sex but although I am happy to do anything to her she won’t go down on me.

Office girls opinion

Quite often a woman has had a previously bad experience with a former partner. You should be supportive and understand her concerns before you just think about yourself. She is satisfying you anyway so you should ultimately honor her freedom of choice.

You can try to suggest some things to her at the right time to try and get her to try it again. A good place to start is with a shower or bath together so personal hygiene isn’t an issue. We have some great products available that are aimed at this problem. Various edible lubricants like “Good Head” & “Foreplay Flavored Lubes”. Also a flavored condom with flavors like banana & strawberry which will get her over her anxiety of swallowing. A tongue vibe could also help her & give you a different type of pleasure again.

Office boys opinion

Obviously she is unaware that it is your right to receive a blow job at least once week! You do have needs and she needs to understand this. Lets face it your not asking for anything her last or future boyfriends wont ask for, so it must be a reasonable request. Should none of the girls suggestions work we recommend you either look for another girlfriend or try the odd massage parlor occasionally. Don’t tell her about these trips & you can keep her happy while satisfying your needs as a red blooded man. As you are paying its not like cheating really.

How can I can get him to be a better lover?

Hello my name is Julie & I have been in a relationship for the last 3 years with my boyfriend but he is incapable of giving me an orgasm. He just likes to get on top of me and get it over with as quickly as possible & get off again. I love him but I do have desires that need to be fulfilled.

Can the office help me by suggesting ways I can get him to be a better lover?

Dear Julie this is a difficult one as you say you love him but just need to be satisfied. It would be a much easier decision if you found him repulsive. If this was the case we all agree you should place an order for a new vibrating friend & ditch him!

As you don’t, as always the girls in the office have a very different opinion to the men.

The girls believe you should first find out what turns you on. Spend some time alone when he is away and have an evening devoted to you. Firstly take the phone off the hook & make sure you have no distractions. Have a glass of wine watch a girlie flick and after a warm bath with some luxury bath oils lie down and pleasure yourself. Take your time and explore all the regions you like to be touched & truly find out what you need. Try writing down your desires & any fantasies you have.

You then need to sit down together to discuss what you are missing from your relationship & your desires. Find out what he wants & if he has any fantasies of his own. Be supportive throughout & be willing to try within reason his desires if he will fulfill yours.

It is important that the next time you have sex which could be right away. You need to make sure you take a good couple of hours to spend time just getting to know each other sexually. Take turns in massaging each other all over starting with the feet & working your way up each others bodies. At no point have sex till you are ready & be sure he knows this; this is you time for you.

We blokes have a bit of a different opinion. Some people in the pub wanted to make sure you were making an effort to look attractive to your man & that you had not let yourself go over the three years you have been together. Also if he works hard you might be asking a lot of him when he is too tired. You should be glad he is taking the time he already is to give you one. Assuming you have not and that you are a sexy little thing we believe this!

Firstly if you do as the girls think & pleasure yourself to explore what turns you on, we suggest you video the experience. This will be a nice film for your partner to have some fun with when you are out for the evening. As for them saying if he has fantasies we tell you now he will. Usually involving two or three of your best friends so be prepared.

In our experience a woman just needs to look interested to get plenty of sex. If all else fails the majority of the boys are happy to come over to satisfy your inner most desires the kinkier the better.